Tunnel Vision

My rest is stirred by
a 65-pound alarm clock
middle of the night
my daughter
bouncing on the side of my bed
her long legs
landing on my head
I rise like a lion
instantly calmed
by her big beautiful eyes
those same eyes I stared into
twenty seconds after she was born
saw my reflection that day
immediately changed my perspective that day
her mother was the only one that looked at me in that way
drawing everything conceivable
into her dark brown orbs
was my daughter aware
through her innocent shy stare
that I was in love with her
she gave me the opportunity
to raise a daughter
my life’s greatest treasure
Hey lady
I say groggily
what are you doing up at 2 am?
she answers
what are you doing up at 2 am?
seriously, baby
what’s wrong
your dad’s day is long
I just need a couple more hours
before I get up
make breakfast
then you three go to camp
me to work
dealing with jerks
my 9-5 grind
so tell me now
my beautiful daughter
what is on your mind?
she is in my arms now
I lift her up to the sky
she is always so amazed
that I can lift her so high
put me down Daddy
she giggles showing her two missing teeth
ok, ok
I will stop playing
just as long as you start your explaining
ok, ok
I will stop playing
just as long as you start your explaining
she says copying me
she laughs as I tickle her feet
daddy stop tickling me
daddy stop tickling me
hehehehehe, I say mockingly
put her down and ask
What is the problem?
What can I fix for you today?
Do you love me?
Yes I do
Why ask a question you already know the answer to
Would you do anything for me?
Would you save me from a burning building?
I would tear down the walls with my bare hands
Inhale the smoke and fire around you
Wrap you in a blanket
Covering your teddy bear too
Jump out of a ten-story window
Land on my feet then kiss you on your forehead
You are always safe with me
Then daddy?
Yes sweetheart
Why don’t you visit mummy?
Well baby
Somethings are hard for me
to wrap my arms around
for days I have stared at the earth
wanting to rip her from the ground
In order for life to go on
I have avoided that sad song
Do you remember you and mummy’s favorite song?
Yes I do baby
Will you sing it for me?
I start into the Stevie Wonder tune
my daughter looks at me
and figures it’s hard for me to do
she picks up where I left off

In a cafe or sometimes on a crowded street
I've been near you, but you never noticed me
My cherie amour, won't you tell me how could you ignore
That behind that little smile I wore
How I wish that you were mine

That’s right baby, I say wiping away my tears
It’s ok to cry
Mummy tells me every night
Make sure your dad is ok
If he is not
sing him this song until he falls asleep

I rest my back against the headboard
my daughter lies next to me
Yes baby
her voice shaking me back to reality
I miss mummy too
I know you do
we all do
so bright and full of life
would do anything for anyone
a true
she never even saw her death coming
traveling to the airport
late at night
Boston’s new tunnel
squishing her car tight


before she went away
mom had something to say
I love you
my husband
my children
my God
my life was hard
but all of you made it so easy
for me to see
the true meaning of life
begins with

- dedicated to Milena Del Valle, her loving husband Angel Luis Del Valle and three children -

Milena was killed in a horrible accident in Boston’s Big Dig project last summer on July 11th 2006.
She lays in rest in VASQUEZ DE CORONADO, Costa Rica