Lonely

I feel this way

when you are not here

simply because of the way

I have grown to feel

when you are

Smooth Ride

like a mos def and bilal track
mixed with a little common

our music plays through the speakers
full body contractions induced from
lips
meeting at the crossroads
traveling down the right side
till it becomes the left
earlobe escapes
into all night escapades
peeling off clothes
like a banana peel
ripe
wet
ready to be bitten
bite me
softly
harder
till my ass gets welts
my body melts
passion fruit
mixed with desire
consume my essence
before I expire
teeth chattering
facial explosions
oozing down the throat
of overwhelmed organs
spilling to the side
encompassing
mountain side cliffs
watered luckily enough
to produce soft luscious nips
round equator of brown
encompassing
capturing multitude of tongue licks
butterfly kisses land
engorging themselves on belly buttons
then to
inner hips to take pleasure sips
of heavens honey
dive in with full body thrusts
stay inside for a while
measure work
yoga divided by sutra
birth positions from the future
two hour ride to the stars
now
smiles exist where
she and he cum once did
devils cousins
sweat drips from chin
want more
need more
98degrees outside
wanting me to stay in
dock my yacht for repairs
she climbs aboard
and sets sail
on this smooth
ride again

Bang

Inside each of is a kindred spirit
A soul that stirs beneath the dermis and muscle and bones
Existing only to exist to live as we once did
With drum and dance with feet and conga
To coexist with the beat of a nation
Prescribed to strive on the rhythm of its soldiers
As they march through the streets of Zion
Praising all of the lords children
Amen and our fathers be given
with a side of Coltrane and Stevie Wonder
Individuals with a cause a movement a
Conviction
Some with and some without
Some with drug addiction
Like Noah begat so forth and so on we have become a run on
Sentence.
A death sentence of immoral repetition that combined with global sterilization of minds
leads to decreased awareness, common sense and individuality
Be an individual, stripped of all it's animosity and bigotry
The single most individual thing you can do is, Revolt
Revolt
yourself
your surroundings
your fears and desires
your illness and stress.
Stand naked with only your sword by your side
The sword of wisdom and pride
Give me linguistic metaphors of Rivers Euphrates and Red sand deserts
Places that Kings walked and ruled the land with iron hands and long handled scepters
Dudes that were so paranoid that when you birth your first son, you had to name it after them
Giving righteous cause to sin
All over again
Giving flex to time and de ja vu'
Not down with that Matrix shit
I got this
gun to my head
filled with un dodgeable bullets
education - click
common sense - click
honesty - click
morality - click
fatherhood - click
brotherhood - click
Poking holes into my consciousness making me dull to innocence
I am tired now of all this
So inhale
and I hold that shit
and then I exhale
Bang!!

Tunnel Vision

My rest is stirred by
a 65-pound alarm clock
middle of the night
my daughter
bouncing on the side of my bed
her long legs
landing on my head
I rise like a lion
roaring
instantly calmed
by her big beautiful eyes
those same eyes I stared into
twenty seconds after she was born
saw my reflection that day
immediately changed my perspective that day
her mother was the only one that looked at me in that way
absorbing
drawing everything conceivable
sight
sound
into her dark brown orbs
was my daughter aware
through her innocent shy stare
that I was in love with her
she gave me the opportunity
to raise a daughter
my life’s greatest treasure
Hey lady
I say groggily
what are you doing up at 2 am?
she answers
what are you doing up at 2 am?
seriously, baby
what’s wrong
your dad’s day is long
I just need a couple more hours
before I get up
shower
make breakfast
then you three go to camp
me to work
dealing with jerks
my 9-5 grind
so tell me now
my beautiful daughter
what is on your mind?
she is in my arms now
I lift her up to the sky
she is always so amazed
that I can lift her so high
put me down Daddy
she giggles showing her two missing teeth
ok, ok
I will stop playing
just as long as you start your explaining
ok, ok
I will stop playing
just as long as you start your explaining
she says copying me
hehehehehe
she laughs as I tickle her feet
daddy stop tickling me
hehehehehe
daddy stop tickling me
hehehehehe, I say mockingly
put her down and ask
What is the problem?
What can I fix for you today?
Daddy?
Yes
Do you love me?
Yes I do
Why ask a question you already know the answer to
Daddy?
Yes
Would you do anything for me?
Yes
Daddy?
Yes
Would you save me from a burning building?
I would tear down the walls with my bare hands
Inhale the smoke and fire around you
Wrap you in a blanket
Covering your teddy bear too
Jump out of a ten-story window
Land on my feet then kiss you on your forehead
You are always safe with me
Then daddy?
Yes sweetheart
Why don’t you visit mummy?
Well baby
Somethings are hard for me
to wrap my arms around
for days I have stared at the earth
wanting to rip her from the ground
In order for life to go on
I have avoided that sad song
Daddy?
Yes
Do you remember you and mummy’s favorite song?
Yes I do baby
Will you sing it for me?
I start into the Stevie Wonder tune
my daughter looks at me
and figures it’s hard for me to do
she picks up where I left off

In a cafe or sometimes on a crowded street
I've been near you, but you never noticed me
My cherie amour, won't you tell me how could you ignore
That behind that little smile I wore
How I wish that you were mine

That’s right baby, I say wiping away my tears
Daddy?
Yes
It’s ok to cry
Mummy tells me every night
Make sure your dad is ok
If he is not
sing him this song until he falls asleep
I rest my back against the headboard
my daughter lies next to me
Daddy?
Yes baby
her voice shaking me back to reality
I miss mummy too
I know you do
we all do
she
so bright and full of life
would do anything for anyone
a true
woman
lover
supporter
friend
she never even saw her death coming
traveling to the airport
late at night
Boston’s new tunnel
squishing her car tight
voices
crying
sirens
then

silence

before she went away
mom had something to say
I love you
my husband
my children
my God
my life was hard
but all of you made it so easy
for me to see
the true meaning of life
begins with
family

- dedicated to Milena Del Valle, her loving husband Angel Luis Del Valle and three children -

Milena was killed in a horrible accident in Boston’s Big Dig project last summer on July 11th 2006.

She lays in rest in VASQUEZ DE CORONADO, Costa Rica

Sable Eyes

I have been feeling this way for too long now
words have not been spoken
don't really need to be
really couldn't have
you know how I feel
I know how you feel
see it in the steel of your eyes
the way they engulf me
my
presence
my
whole entire essence with those soft brown
portals
windows into your soul
breaking into pieces
whenever life divides our time
and that is what it is our time
to live
breathe
sweat
communicate
make love
argue
go on vacation
watch movies
play
make love
.......did I say make love?
raise kids
go to graduation
go to graduation
go to graduation
go to graduation
go to graduation
go to graduation
go to graduation
.......did I say seven kids?
go to weddings
go to church
and die
with one another
but our lives
have offered another time
to exist
our
mental tryst can go no further
me with her
and you with that brother
a cool brother at that too
cleans the house
disciplines the kids
massages
extra special care
once every year
but when he's rubbing
that back
don't you want to tell him that
I want that old thing back
when Anwar used to do that
thing where he slung me back
and made love to me and told me that
If he ever had a chance he would break
that back
huh
nah
yes
cus
I
see it in the steel of your eyes
the way they engulf me
my
presence
my
whole entire essence with those soft brown
portals
windows into your soul
breaking into pieces
whenever life divides our time

Last night a DJ saved my life

Friday night lights
got me in a yellow dress shirt
grey pants
with cream color pinstripes
end of the week exhalation
freedom from my 9-5 woes
may lead to public intoxication
for some reason
this nightclub has been calling me all week
the dj
the people
the drinks
don’t forget VIP
‘ yo waitress another bottle ‘
I holla
standing behind the velvet rope
notions of a boys night out
shattered by
a woman I spot
out of the corner of my eye
as if God himself put a spotlight on her
the disco ball
shimmering silently off of her bronze skin
I don’t know when she noticed me
sporting my half shy grin
a firecracker goes off in my head
just got that second look
her first
to stop me in my tracks
the second to have her dinner
licking her chops
savoring each bite
a queen lioness adorned in a slinky black dress
silky smooth skin
painted with
shimmering diamonds
and gold hoops representing
earth’s treasures
and those damn legs
her eyes beg
for attention
a partner on the floor
every second that she existed in my mind
I have been hypnotized
begin to feel myself sleep walking
towards the subject of my attention
I find myself within earshot
The Music’s so loud – plays over the speakers
techno beat just ending
but the music is so loud
she can’t hear me
Do you want to dance?
I mouth the words
over the nightclub din
orating slowly
so she knows what I am saying
What took you so long?
she asks when I receive her hot embrace
letting me know that she isn’t playing
dj switches back to urban stuff
you make me better
Neyo and F – a – b – o – l – o – u - s
"I'm a movement by myself
But I'm a force when we're together
Mami I'm good all by myself
But baby you, you make me better"
hearing those lyrics
feeling the sounds
hips
legs
arms, necks
intertwine
inviting me into her space
her into mine
"First thing's first, I does what I do
But everything I am, she's my improve
I'm already boss, I'm already fly
But if I'm a star, she is the sky
And when I feel like I'm on top
She give me reason to not stop
And though I'm hot
Together we burn it up"
The dj’s needle scratching the vinyl
helping me scratch a two month itch
two bodies
intertwined
lifted up
reaching the stars of lust
combined
sweet nectar of perfume and cologne
now on the dancefloor
all alone
grinding away
love lost
verbal daggers thrown
hard living
firmly pressed against her backside
song ends
a night of dancing leads to after-club friends
and then
sweaty, nervous palms
reach for the door
zippers
glasses
lacy things
clothes lie on the floor
dancing horizontally
kissing; perspiring
late night love making
moans; groans
guttural movements
ecstasy shown
muscles; tensed
legs; inviting
pulling hair
biting
juices mix
sexual drug dealer
serving up two more hits
forward; backward
cowgirl; 69
some never heard of
others tried out
when they come to mind
she doesn’t seem to mind
taking every thrust
legs wrapped in trust
she’s a giver and a taker
rock smashes scissors
then scissors cut paper
her screams of pleasure
cut through the softness
of the moment
we rest
for a moment
our brown skin
mixing perfectly with the sheets we lay in
I watch the sunrise
peering over the deep curve of her thighs
wrapped in my arms
watching her sleep
her breasts slowly rise
fall; rise
falling in love with the feeling inside
lust planted
watered by perspiration
she is feeling me
I am feeling her too
giving birth to round two

love notes - left by desire

I love the way you flow
early morning glow
replaced by heaven's touch
a soft blow
to my heart
it pains
when you leave
even for a second
Like when you wake before me
to bathe
in the sunshine
I wake up
bewildered
lost
your spot
on my bed
replaced
by a pool of tears
never knowing that you are still near
that is my greatest fear
losing you while you are still here
so I wipe away my tears
and use them to water the soil
on which we will build our love on for years

lips

open lips squeeze; clamped on mine
swallowing your spirit whole
inhaling; love
intoxicating one another
with one another
until your spirit cries out
from deep within
moan

Little feet

You’re going to be a father
she whispered into the phone
lips barely moving although
realizing the pure joy of bearing us a child
my 19yr old hands gripped the phone tighter
trying to hide the nervous laughter
fixing my eyebrows in the rear view mirror
trying to look cool
trying to be suave
looking at the people around my car
they had no idea
that overnight
I had become a superstar
my summer fling
became the real thing
lust turned to love
unprotected feelings
the woman on the line had changed her mind
gave our seed a chance to grow
In the womb of destiny
my idea was to show
her, my love
my family
my hang – on’s
my friends
my self
that I could be a father
to a son or a daughter
even with no daddy training from my past
flash
to reality
hang up the phone
drop off
my friends
speed off
to where my girl was staying
rushed in the door
laid her on the floor
rested my head on her abdomen
to be close to her, my love
and the new home of my offspring
my
heart
beats
her
heart
beats
now
our
heart
beats
to the pitter patter of little feet

Men cry too!!!

I was raised amongst men
wolves
lions
pursuers of the farm hen
big strapping leaders
not a weakling amongst them
educated
street or other wise
manly duties
fell
like wet panties
the go getters
the
I don’t know what I would do without you
type men
I fell in love with the men of my family
full of teachers, barbers, hustlers and the military
listening
hanging onto every word
like it was a hypnotizing herb
smoking the teachings down to the roach clip
something changed when I was about ten
I started noticing
the bumps and curves
around the miniature women
girls
as they pranced about
like peacocks in their
tight shorts; lipstick plumage
never fully understanding the damage
they inflicted upon me
they double-dutch about in
matching bottom and tops
barrettes
shiny church shoes
my body could not handle
what my mind wanted to do
my lips lost their virginity at the age of eleven
Aisha
Lips as soft as anyone could imagine
Eyes as big as ring pops
Her skin so dark
I thought
I would get some on me if I rubbed against her
Her hair plaited
In rows so straight
It looked like aliens had come in the night
used her head for an experiment
We lived on the same street together
We went to the same school, church and hangouts together
I walked her home from school everyday
I chased her with bugs that I found just to hear her scream
I loved taking her to the store for
ice cream
To spend the last of my allowance like a fool
Watching my sneaker dreams melt away down the side of her cone
but I knew, that after ice cream
came vanilla ice cream kisses on the stoop behind her home
she had this way of twirling her tongue around
inside of my mouth
feeling similar to the Pop Rocks
exploding on my tastebuds
watermelon
bubblegum
cherry
banana
ooh it felt like heaven
being in love at the age of eleven
world came to an end at the age of eleven
late in the summer
moving truck came down the road at 10:57
the love of my life
my future wife
moving back to her mother’s island
what
wait
you can’t go
my heart melted on her front stoop
like the ice cream I brought for her two days ago
I picked my head up just in time
To see her drop a tear from those big ol eyes
I ran over to her before it dropped
Ran my little finger under her cheek
Caught the water
Ran home to freeze it
So I could save it for her
until the next time we meet
my first love left me that day
my roni
my wifey
my boo
later on that night
in my tent staring at the stars
I found out that
Men cry too

Notes: June 18th Charles River

Sitting in my usual writing spot
taking in the warm and sunny day
completing the last leg of a four day weekend
traded my business suit for pen and paper
fair weather

car horns sound off
beautiful outlines in flowing sun dresses, floral prints
future wives with hungry eyes
dance about the wolves in dress shirts, flat front pants and Johnston Murphy shoes

club promoters posting bills of
pending nightclub deals
Nightlife salesmen armed with glossy pleasures
double sided invitations to the hottest thing
cars, streets posts
littered in red, white blue
independence day approaches with a full head of steam
90-99 degrees three days straight

every café
sporting event
grassy knoll
packed; filled with an afternoon buzz
human noise escalates over the din of the city
How much fun is this?
I'm taking in the warm and sunny day
Child
People
Dog walkers
tread on grooves cast by strollers and feet, paws before them
they are the pioneers of summer
freeing the spirit from its wintry wonder

flirtation walks by holding courtship’s hand
shades of desire, cover eyes and intentions of igniting passion
their thirst quenched by hand clasped perspiration
one
two
three
ten bikers of the ten speed generation ride by causing the wind to stir and spitting up small pebbles from their rear tire

the river is placid reflecting hulls and sails from their surface neighbors
coeds splash about preparing oars, aft and fore
my view is obstructed so all I can see appear to be goal posts sticking out of the water
over the river looms tomorrow; back inside the brick enclave with glass entryways
the subway pulls away from the building in a rumble
Next stop: who cares

today, I am here
the place I feel level

A kiss - acrostic

Attractive southern belle catches my eye
Kendra is her name and she is North Carolina raised
Inside Piggly Wiggly buying hush puppies
Sausuage and grits she told me that my accent was so cute
She simply wanted to give me

A Kiss

Sunrise over North Carolina

I tripped this week

dropped a piece of
Acid vacation
much needed pause
from reality and
my daily cause

oncoming headlights
melt inside my mouth
Lights
No lights
Lights
No lights
driving 95
heading to Deep South

highway resembles a black slip and slide
one that I ride down to where my roots reside
motorized trucks
transform to cars
then back to trucks
shape shifting
miles upon hours
of that
de ja vu type luck

trees become lollipops
suckered into looking green
when blue is really what they're feeling
as I ride through in my 76 Eldorado
100 spokes gleaming
gods of the 10th state
wash up tears of an angel’s lust
as rain pours down
from the heavens upon us

sheets of white washed
Miles lived in my head
Venus De Milo
Spanish Key
You're my everything
sat with me
in the rain
together
we rode out the angel’s plight
arriving safely
sometime around midnight

roots waiting
anticipating our arrival
hands busily sewing a red carpet
preparing baskets of fried chicken
biscuits and grandma’s molasses
making beds with
words of stories told
time and time again
still feeling warm
inviting

eyelashes interlock
cousin of death
never felt so good
tired eyes and feet
arms feel like wood
Vanilla crème dreams
paint the sky
rising from the mind's eye
in a spotted pattern
bursting with colors
creating
a sunrise over North Carolina