I was raised amongst men
wolves
lions
pursuers of the farm hen
big strapping leaders
not a weakling amongst them
educated
street or other wise
manly duties
fell
like wet panties
the go getters
the
I don’t know what I would do without you
type men
I fell in love with the men of my family
full of teachers, barbers, hustlers and the military
listening
hanging onto every word
like it was a hypnotizing herb
smoking the teachings down to the roach clip
something changed when I was about ten
I started noticing
the bumps and curves
around the miniature women
girls
as they pranced about
like peacocks in their
tight shorts; lipstick plumage
never fully understanding the damage
they inflicted upon me
they double-dutch about in
matching bottom and tops
barrettes
shiny church shoes
my body could not handle
what my mind wanted to do
my lips lost their virginity at the age of eleven
Aisha
Lips as soft as anyone could imagine
Eyes as big as ring pops
Her skin so dark
I thought
I would get some on me if I rubbed against her
Her hair plaited
In rows so straight
It looked like aliens had come in the night
used her head for an experiment
We lived on the same street together
We went to the same school, church and hangouts together
I walked her home from school everyday
I chased her with bugs that I found just to hear her scream
I loved taking her to the store for
ice cream
To spend the last of my allowance like a fool
Watching my sneaker dreams melt away down the side of her cone
but I knew, that after ice cream
came vanilla ice cream kisses on the stoop behind her home
she had this way of twirling her tongue around
inside of my mouth
feeling similar to the Pop Rocks
exploding on my tastebuds
watermelon
bubblegum
cherry
banana
ooh it felt like heaven
being in love at the age of eleven
world came to an end at the age of eleven
late in the summer
moving truck came down the road at 10:57
the love of my life
my future wife
moving back to her mother’s island
what
wait
you can’t go
my heart melted on her front stoop
like the ice cream I brought for her two days ago
I picked my head up just in time
To see her drop a tear from those big ol eyes
I ran over to her before it dropped
Ran my little finger under her cheek
Caught the water
Ran home to freeze it
So I could save it for her
until the next time we meet
my first love left me that day
my roni
my wifey
my boo
later on that night
in my tent staring at the stars
I found out that
Men cry too
