(v/a) -::last words of an abused child::-

I don’t want to die
but I’m going to
I mean
mom and dad didn’t like me that much anyway
during youth
consistently reminded
backhand slaps
forward kicks
forceful terms of endearment
my favorite
- I wish that you would walk down the street and get hit by a car -
through time I found that
I didn’t need to walk far
an 18-wheeler jackknifed inside my living room
spewing garbage
gifts of true voice
feelings; unwrapped
from: mom and dad written on the side
all because I reminded them of
- the hard times
each stomp and scream
would really mean
- boy I wish you were never born
I’m tired of working four jobs
my feet got corns -

daddy never really came home
he was too ashamed; frustrated
that I couldn’t be another woman for him to beat
I had to be a son
whenever daddy did come home
he would knock me on my head with a beer bottle
and mom would laugh as I pick up my teeth
place them inside my pocket
I would look towards the front door
wishing to be
darkness resides
their words:
I hate you
if you had stayed inside
I would have
elevated my mind

smoked weed
bought cars and dresses
spread around my seeds
but no,
here you come
with a big ass head
looking like your mother
wish I could bust you in the face
like I do her
but you aint worth it
fact is
you aint worth shit
stuff on the bottom of my shoe
that’s what I got for you and your ass
with a little heel for some added class
mom and dad
for taking out on me
what you couldn’t see
wasn’t my fault at all
your words
helped me grow into
the animal that I am today
I see you in the crowd
not even looking my way
can’t you see
the lives that I took
where in honor of you
just trying to get attention
like when I was a kid
you would’ve been proud of my murderous rampage
the burning memories of a child
used as fuel to excite fear into victims
before the final knife thrust
in death I trust
so I sit still in the face of it
even in this electric chair
I learned from you
that I should never shed a tear
so I don’t
forever set up in jail
big guy over there
wearing the blue
wry smile
bout to hit the juice
send my soul to Lucifer
thrown into the eternal fire
20 murders
paid in full
all with one pull of the switch
my body
my life ended
just as mom and dad wanted
papers read
Monster executed this morning at 10:22
to his murders he gave no excuse

I couldn’t read it
lost my eyesight
from years of your Verbal Abuse