Have you ever

wished upon a falling star
made out in the back seat of a car
felt like walking around the house nude
gave the gas attendant attitude
shopped for an outfit to wear when you had no money
laughed at a joke that wasn’t really funny
kissed on the first date
at your bosses birthday party ate the last piece of cake
showed up to work drunk
purposely ran over a skunk
wore white gym socks with black dress shoes
sat and watched an entire episode of Blues Clues
smelled your pee after you ate asparagus
wanted to crush someone’s esophagus
bumped into a car in the parking lot and didn’t care
looked in the mirror and noticed one of your eyebrows wasn’t there
felt a spider crawl across your arm
wanted to do your sibling harm
stepped in a pile of fresh dog manure
wondered what in the world was an Hor' dourves
got ‘happy’ in church
been subjected to a nude police search
kicked a door in
asked your girl ‘what in the world are you wearing?’
lived in Kissimmee, Florida
witnessed a fight in the school corridor
gave your pops the double middle finger salute
got baby puke on a brand new suit
drove alone across country
saw a red booty monkey
got hit so hard you laughed
swore you heard your mother pass gas
accidentally taken the wrong pills
used one Brawny towel to clean up a spill
drank a cup of hot green tea
lost your motherfalken keys
broke a leg
seen a cat beg
made love in a hot tub
counted the stars above
smoked a cuban cigar
at 120mph sped by a state police car
failed at Trig
enjoyed a clove cig
read the Art of War
wondered what we are in Iraq for
as I move up that hill
heading to my way over
I thank God for everything he has put me through
no pot of gold, no leprechaun
no rainbow
just me and my experiences
looking out of the window
have you ever?